Helping your child become more confident is more than just one of the goals that you, as a parent, hope to accomplish; it is an investment in their future that will last their entire lives. Children who are confident tend to do better academically, have stronger and healthier relationships, and develop deeper layers of emotional resilience. According to the CDC, those children with a positive emotional well-being are more capable of coping with stress, developing social skills, and achieving academic success in school settings than those who do not.
Confidence is not something that babies are born with; they learn to be confident through the influence of others. Through intentional, meaningful parent-child interactions and consistent emotional support from their parents, children develop a sense of self-worth and confidence. By praising your child effectively when they do something good, using activities to enhance their self-esteem, and using positive self-talk that empowers them, you can create a solid foundation for your child's success as they enter school or interact socially with other children.
So let's look at ways to help your child learn to believe in themselves and carry that belief into adulthood!
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How children interpret and react to challenging scenarios is influenced in large part by confidence or lack thereof. Do they keep trying, or give up? Do children perceive a failure as a negative, or will they be able to grow from it?
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), children who build their confidence also build their self-esteem, which ultimately helps them bounce back in life and adjust to new situations and experiences. Their resilience ultimately translates into a stronger academic performance, improved emotional intelligence, and overall (long-term) well-being.
As children develop during the early stages of life (birth through 8), their brains form millions of neural connections. Positive reinforcement and secure attachments to parental figures help establish the connections needed to regulate emotion and develop the ability to learn.
By intentionally supporting a child’s confidence, parents not only shape a child’s behaviour but also help the child develop their cognitive abilities.
School readiness is not simply about knowing letters and numbers; it also involves managing emotions, being independent, demonstrating curiosity, and communicating effectively with others.
Children who believe they can do things are more likely to:
Confidence turns the experience of learning from being a source of anxiety to being an opportunity for growth.
Confidence can be built within a person through daily interactions, guidance, and examples. It does not take much effort or large-scale actions to help someone build confidence.
Research indicates that specific and effort-based praise is more effective than general compliments. So, instead of saying, "You're so smart," try to say, "I was really impressed with how hard you tried, even though you found it difficult." The revised way of offering praise shows that children's potential lies in their ability to put forth effort rather than perfection. By doing this, we are fostering resilience rather than dependence on praise.
Effective Praise Techniques:
1) Focus on the child's effort and/or progress.
2) Be sincere and specific when providing praise.
3) Provide encouragement to the child with regard to problem-solving.
4) Encourage the child's development of intrinsic motivation.
Children who learn that they can grow and develop from perseverance will build authentic self-belief.
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Experience builds confidence. Doing things that are meaningful to your child will give them an opportunity to explore and try out their skills in a safe, supportive environment.
Here is a list of things that will help with creating strong confidence in your child:
Let your child help with age-appropriate tasks, such as setting the table or putting away toys. By helping out with responsible tasks, your child will develop his/her independence.
Through art, music, and storytelling, your child is learning to express his/her feelings and be recognized as an individual.
Help your child set small, achievable goals, and celebrate when he/she achieves them to reinforce his/her progress.
Playing sports or engaging in activities that involve movement helps develop coordination and self-trust. In addition to developing coordination and self-trust, physical play helps to develop teamwork and resiliency.
All of these activities support your child's emotional development as well as his/her social skills and decision-making abilities.
What a child hears from their parents is how they talk to themselves in their own heads.
Using positive language that empowers your child will create an emotional bond between you and your child and help develop their inner strength.
For example:
Instead of saying "Stop making mistakes," try "Mistakes help me learn."
The purpose of your encouraging language is to encourage continued effort, normalize struggle, avoid labelling anyone, and foster solution-oriented thinking.
By consistently using supportive language, children begin to develop a sense of optimism and self-esteem.
Confidence and social skills are closely related. Children who feel socially safe to express themselves often will share their opinions and/or form new friendships, and they have a greater ability to work together through conflict.
The U.S. Department of Education states that social-emotional learning influences children's academic performance. In addition, the foundational skills of empathy, communication, and teamwork will prepare children directly for social/emotional success.
Fortunately, parents can teach children how to develop social skills through:
Role Play Conversations
i.e., Practicing ways to greet people or discuss how to handle disagreements and other social situations
Modeling Respectful Communication
Children will learn how adults deal with frustration and communicate through imitation.
Encouraging Participation in Activities that Require Teamwork
Sports and group projects both provide experience in teamwork, cooperation, and leadership.
When children feel competent with their social skills, they will develop confidence in themselves.
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Encouragement is necessary; however, being overly protective may hinder developmental progress because kids grow confidence through exposure to reasonable risk-taking experiences.
Encourage the child to:
Confidence develops in the area between providing support and providing independence.
Your home setting sets the mood; having a peaceful place that promotes growth helps develop the child's ability to deal with emotions.
Creating safe, trustworthy patterns fosters a sense of security, which is essential for children to be prepared for school.
Valuing the hard work behind things more than the final product's quality is important.
Find answers together by discussing and answering your child's questions.
Being present with your child and listening without judgment helps develop their emotional maturity.
A luxurious parenting style does not mean being extravagant; rather, it refers to intentional awareness of yourself during communication with your child and to nurturing his/her emotional well-being.
Building Children's Self-Esteem through Connection, Communication, and Consistency. Every day is an opportunity to promote children's self-esteem through connection, communication, and consistency. Parents can help children develop the skills they need to become emotionally strong adults by intentionally praising them, engaging in activities that build children's self-esteem, using empowering language, and supporting children's social skill development.
Confidence is not about creating a child who has never failed. Confidence is about developing a child who believes they can try again after failure.
The ability for a child to feel competent, valued, and listened to lays the emotional foundation for becoming strong enough to face future endeavors, school, friendships, and careers with courage.
What you say, how you behave, and the guidance you provide today are supporting the development of your child's self-confidence as an adult.
Parents can help support their child's confidence at home by using target-praise techniques; fostering confidence by encouraging independence; modeling positive thoughts and words; and creating opportunities for children to engage in meaningful self-esteem-building activities that foster responsibility, resiliency, emotional regulation, and social skills.
Yes, having the social and emotional foundation of school readiness helps promote confidence by fostering the child's social/emotional, communication, and independence skills prior to school. When children feel ready and prepared, both socially and academically, they approach classroom challenges with greater resilience and confidence.
Praise helps develop a child's long-term self-esteem when the focus is on the child's effort, persistence, and improvement, rather than on their innate ability to succeed. As a result, the child develops a growth mindset; therefore, improving their resiliency, building their self-esteem, and developing lasting confidence in both academic and social environments.
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